Put the device to bed, but not in the bedroom
Items to review with your child
Parenting experts suggest parking all technology devices, from cell phones to iPads, in a common family room overnight to discourage late night, unmonitored use and sleep disruption. Don’t allow your teen to sleep with the iPad, laptop or cell phone. Remember to model appropriate use and balance of technology in your own life, too!
-
Guard your privacy. What people know about you is up to you.
-
Protect your reputation. Self-reflect before you self-reveal. What’s funny or edgy today could cost you tomorrow.
-
Nothing is private online. Anything you say or do can be copied, pasted, and sent to gazillions of people without your permission.
-
Assume everyone is watching. There’s a huge, vast audience out there. If someone is your friend’s friend, they can see everything.
-
Apply the Golden Rule. If you don’t want it done to you, don’t do it to someone else.
-
Watch the clock. A virtual hug never matches a real one. Balance your life.
-
Choose wisely. Not all content is appropriate. You know what we mean.
-
Don't hide. Using anonymity to cloak your actions doesn’t turn you into a trustworthy, responsible human being.
-
Think about what you see. Just because it’s online doesn’t make it true.
-
Be smart, be safe. Not everyone is who they say they are. But you know that.
Social Networking Sites: A Parent's Guide
-
Help your kids understand what information should be private. Tell them why it's important to keep some things — about themselves, family members, and friends — to themselves. Information like their full name, Social Security number, street address, phone number, and family financial information — like bank or credit card account numbers — is private and should stay that way. Tell them not to choose a screen name that gives away too much personal information.
-
Use privacy settings to restrict who can access and post on your child's website. Some social networking site have strong privacy settings. Show your child how to use these settings to limit who can view their online profile, and explain to them why this is important.
-
Explain that kids should post only information that you — and they — are comfortable with others seeing. Even if privacy settings are turned on, some — or even all — of your child's profile may be seen by a broader audience than your comfortable with. Encourage your child to think about the language used in a blog, and to think before posting pictures and videos. Employers, college admissions officers, team coaches, and teachers may view your child's postings. Even a kid's screen name could make a difference. Encourage teens to think about the impression that screen names could make.
-
Remind your kids that once they post information online, they can't take it back. Even if they delete the information from a site, older versions may exist on other people's computers and be circulated online.
-
Know how your kids are getting online. More and more, kids are accessing the internet through their cell phones. Find out about what limits you can place on your child's cell phone. Some cellular companies have plans that limit downloads, internet access, and texting; other plans allow kids to use those features only at certain times of day.
-
Talk to your kids about bullying. Online bulling can take many forms, from spreading rumors online and posting or forwarding private messages without the sender's OK, to sending threatening messages. Tell your kids that the words they type and the images they post can have real-world consequences. They can make the target of the bullying feel bad, make the sender look bad - and, sometimes, can bring on punishment from the authorities. Encourage your kids to talk to you if they feel targeted by a bully.
-
Talk to your kids about avoiding sex talk online. Recent research shows that teens who don't talk about sex with strangers online are less likely to come in contact with a predator.If you're concerned that your child is engaging in risky online behavior, you can search the blog sites they visit to see what information they're posting. Try searching by their name, nickname, school, hobbies, grade, or area where you live.
-
Tell your kids to trust their gut if they have suspicions. If they feel threatened by someone or uncomfortable because of something online, encourage them to tell you. You can then help them report concerns to the police and to the social networking site. Most sites have links where users can immediately report abusive, suspicious, or inappropriate online behavior.
-
Read sites' privacy policies. Spend some time with a site's privacy policy, FAQs, and parent sections to understand its features and privacy controls. The site should spell out your rights as a parent to review and delete your child's profile if your child is younger than 13.
A Few More Tips to Protect Pre-Teens
Many of the tips above apply for pre-teens, but parents of younger children also can:
-
Take extra steps to protect younger kids. Keep the computer in an open area like the kitchen or family room, so you can keep an eye on what your kids are doing online. Use the internet with them to help develop safe surfing habits. Consider taking advantage of parent control features on some operating systems that let you manage your kids' computer use, including what sites they can visit, whether they can download items, or what time of day they can be online.
-
Go where your kids go online. Sign-up for - and use - the social networking spaces that your kids visit. Let them know that you're there, and help teach them how to act as they socialize online.
-
Review your child's friends list. You may want to limit your child's online "friends" to people your child actually knows and is friendly with in real life.
-
Understand sites' privacy policies. Sites should spell out your rights as a parent to review and delete your child's profile if your child is younger than 13.
Online Golden Rules
A Parent's Guide to Social Networking Sites from the Federal Trade Commission
Tips for Managing Your Digitial Life
Here are some helpful bits of information to getting a handle on your digital life in a 1:1 environment. Much of this information is elaborated on commonsensemedia.org.
- Anything they do or post online creates a digital record, often called a "Cyber Footprint." Nothingonline is totally private, even if it is intended to be. Once digitized, it can be saved, sent andreposted elsewhere.
- A good rule of thumb: If you don’t want a parent, teacher, principal, future employer or college admissions office to know something, don’t post it online. Set up some sort of test question to frequently ask your child, such as “Would Grandma approve?”
- "Friends" aren’t always who they say they are; undercover police and pedophiles pretend to be kids online.Encourage your teen to only be friends online with friends they know in person. Never give access to personal information, such as a Facebook profile, to people met online.
- Never post personally identifiable information online. This includes: full name, address, phone number, email, where you are meeting friends or where you hang out. Discuss with your teen how easy it is for someone to find you based on what you post online.
- Regularly check your teen's privacy settings on all commonly used sites and networks. Ignoring privacy settings on sites like Facebook means your teen's photos, contact information, interests, and possibly even cell phone GPS location could be shared with more than a half-billion people.
- Cyberbullying (threatening or harassing another individual through technology) is a growing concern for today’s youth. It takes many forms, such as forwarding a private email, photo, or text message for others to see, starting a rumor, or sending a threatening or aggressive message, often anonymously. Talk with your teen about not partaking in this behavior and encourage her/him to report incidents of cyberbullying to an adult.